The concept of give and take almost works in every situation. When people are given, they are more likely to give as well. Consider yourself, for instance. Who would not respond nicely to a person that treats them right? Who would hate someone who loves them deeply, and constantly shows them their deep affection? Who would want to steal from someone who is always generous to give? Who would disrespect someone who is very respecting of others? Who would not want to obey a boss who is caring, attentive to your needs, encouraging and is always looking for ways to advance your career? No one right? I personally cannot think of a situation where I would be mean to a person who I know loves me truly and always looks after me.
But is that really so? Do people always respond positively to a positive action from your side? Does it always pay to treat people in a pleasant way? Does it always pay to be kind to others? Does it always pay to be honest with others? Take honesty for instance. I love honest people. Honest people can be taken to be rude sometimes simply because they always tell the truth. And as we know it, the truth can hurt really bad. Usually, honest people have some boldness in their tones. Their tone is mistaken for rudeness. I can understand people who have offending tones but yet are very honest can make people angry. But sometimes, even honest people with very friendly tones of voice are not liked by some people. Their honesty can be given thousands of interpretations, with many of these not being very positive.
Take the situation of a boss in a company that has a very soft behavior, who always tries to be kind and understanding to his or her staff. Consider a boss who is very patient with the staffs’ underperformance or misbehavior. Even when they underperform or misbehave, she takes a very soft approach to dealing with them and is careful in her words when trying to reprimand them. This boss is not quick for hard punishments and likes to give ample chances for her staff to improve and minimizes bureaucracies that are intended to deal with non-trustworthy staff. This boss gives her staff the opportunity to lead, themselves and others, without intervening much in their daily operations because she trusts that they are responsible people and are capable to lead. Who wouldn’t like this kind of boss, right? I definitely would! Would want to disappoint this kind of boss? I wouldn’t!
But are all people the same? Do all people respond positively to the above type of good treatment? Sadly, I have seen that not all people are the same. Not all people respond positively to positivity. I wonder why? On numerous occasions, I have seen people disrespect soft and caring people. Numerous times I have seen people confusing kindness for weakness. Many times have I seen that being trusted does not always lead to being trustworthy. Being democratic does not always lead people acknowledging the efforts at being democratic.
I have learned that not all people should be treated the same way. I believe that a key factor for a successful relationship is being mindful of what the other person likes to be treated like. Like I said, the kind of treatment you thought would give positive results can give quite disastrous results. I think one should always be mindful of the character of the person he or she is dealing with. Trying to know the other person is really important. Simply put, some people respond well to a soft and kind behavior and some simply don’t. Some people respond well to strong punishment and some people don’t. Experience teaches you what the character of a person really is. But once you’ve known their character, it is up to you to learn and be mindful of the kind of relationship you should be having with that person.