The ego is a formidable foe. And its power grows with age, with children having the lowest level of ego.
In some ways, having some ego is necessary because it helps us maintain the respect we have in the eyes of others. I regard the ego as a form of defense for one’s dignity and the respect they receive from others.
We want to use it as an umbrella to protect ourselves or our feelings from being hurt by others.
I have seen that feeling undermined, disrespected, or undervalued by others is one of the worst feelings a person can have. When a person believes that others do not value him or her, do not respect his or her opinion, regard them as weak and powerless, or have a negative opinion of them, their ego suffers.
I believe that when someone’s ego is bruised by another, it is more difficult for them to forget than when they are physically hurt.
The ego’s pain, in some ways, endures than physical pain.
I always say that a person with a wounded ego or a highly sensitive ego is extremely difficult to persuade or console. A person with a sensitive ego is more likely to be easily hurt by the opinions of others.
They also have a tendency to imagine nonexistent perceptions of themselves that people may have, making them difficult to communicate with.
Logic frequently goes out the window, making it difficult to reach an agreement.
People with sensitive egos believe that every situation must be won. It is all about proving themselves right and winning for them. It makes no difference whether their victory is beneficial or not. They are always hoping that others will accept their winnings and that they are correct.
Have you ever noticed in relationships that the main reason people do not want to make peace is because of hurt egos and ego fights?
When someone’s ego is bruised or they are sensitive, they do not like to say, “Sorry, I was wrong, and I will make it up to you.” Their ego keeps them from doing so.
Ego prevents us from accepting our flaws, attempting to understand the other person in the fight, comprehending the true consequences of our ego battles, and doing what is actually right in order to maintain a good relationship.
Some people are so consumed by their own egos that they will go to any length, including endangering the lives of others, to prove their point. Only when they realize that their losses from the ego battle are simply too great to bear do they reconsider the need for the fight.
Our egos can occasionally rob us of our rationality. So we fight the fight for no other reason than to protect our own egos. And we become consumed with ourselves that we lose sight of the suffering we cause those who rely on us by fighting.
The sad thing is that we only notice suffering when it directly affects us.
Even more tragic is when third parties fail to recognize that the fight is a battle of egos rather than a real fight. The third party lends their support to one or more of the parties in the conflict, fueling it further and causing more suffering to those who rely on them for survival.
Let us recognize and distinguish between ego fights and real fights, because supporting ego fights will only add to the suffering!