Just like the dance competition TV show entitled ‘So you think you can dance?’, I think we should also have a communication competition show entitled ‘So you think you can communicate?’. Because having a good communication with people, is in my opinion, not as easy as it seems. And this, I came to learn better and better as my engagement with people increased both in number and frequency. And one of the conclusions I came to reach is that, it can be a nightmare to have to work and/or live with a person with whom you are not able to have a good communication.
In my opinion, one of the greatest barriers to good communication is the poor ability to listen and understand the other party. I find that many people are rather impatient to finally get their turn to talk and have themselves heard. And the sad thing is that, since they have not properly heard what the other party had said, the conversation tends to drag and drag along before one of them finally decides to calm down and try to understand what the other party had really said and meant. And there is a very good chance that the two individuals have been talking about two completely different things all along. Have you ever encountered people who have already made their minds about you, and believe they already know what you are going to say before you even utter a word? Trying to have a proper communication with these kinds of individuals can really test your patience.
Another barrier to a good communication is, I believe, not being able to control your emotions. What I have noticed when people get emotional is that they stop sticking to the main point of the conversation and start making personal accusations. And then of course, you also become emotional and the tension starts to escalate.
And have you ever come across people who like to confuse you when then fail to convince you? These kinds of people do not like to admit the fact they do not know everything about everything. It is simply a sign of failure for them. I usually am able to spot the exact moment in the conversation where the other party is convinced that he cannot convince you and decides that the way to go from there on is to try to confuse you. Of course, you do not want to be rude so you decide to caress his ego by pretending you are not a knowledgeable person after all.
I believe that the kind of people who are the easiest types to have a good conversation with are those people who do not have a big ego and therefore are not scared that what they are saying is fully accepted by the other party, are emotionally intelligent, try to listen to and understand the other party’s point of view, are open-minded to new ideas and thoughts, are not prejudiced, are friendly and are very respectful of the other party’s opinions and thoughts. So you think you are a good communicator given these criteria?