Monday, June 5, 2023
Speak Your MindThe blame game

The blame game

Ah, the blame game! This is the game that most of us cannot help playing! The one thing that characterizes the blame game is its uselessness. And on top of that, it can be quite costly because it can serious ruin relationships. The funny thing in the blame game is that people blame each other for something that has already occurred in the past, and therefore cannot be changed. The way I see it, people play the blame game because they want to free themselves from the guilt of not having discharged their own responsibilities in a proper way. It’s like trying to convince yourself by trying to convince the other that you are not to be blamed for whatever that happened.

Take for instance a situation in which a team has failed to deliver on its assignment. Of course, the team members do not want to take the responsibility for the team failure. Even those who know deep down that they are to be blamed for most of the failure do not want to admit to the fact that they are responsible. So, they start blaming each other for the team failure. Feelings become hurt, and resentments are created. But the result is unchanged – the team has still failed. And the bigger damage is that the team members are unwilling to work as a team in future assignments. And if they are forced to work together, you can be sure that the team result is going to be suboptimal. Instead of playing the blame game, what they could have done is to accept that, after all, the assignment was a team assignment. And if failure happens, the team should be blamed. Which means each individual should be held responsible. Even those members who have contributed the least to the failure should let their egos down and accept that they have failed as a team.

There is this saying that goes like ‘When you point one finger, there are three fingers pointing back to you’. I like this saying because it reminds me that, although I may find one flaw in another, there are more flaws that I myself have but have failed or am unwilling to recognize. The blame game is like a self-esteem boosting strategy that helps us cover our own flaws and mistakes by highlighting those of others’. The blame game dwells too much on the past and the unchangeable and prevents us from moving on.

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I see a lot of blame game in the current political situation of this country. They did this to us, they did that to us, if they had not done that we would have been this and that. If the aim of the blame game is to bring to justice those individuals who have done injustice to others, then it is a worthy cause. Otherwise, it is a waste of time. Can we change the damage that happened in the past? No, we cannot. Will playing the blame game help us move an inch towards progress? No, it will not. Will the blame game create further resentments among the blamers and the ones who are being blamed? Yes, it will.  Can the blamers and the ones being blamed be able to work as a team in the future if the blame game continues? No, they will not. So, why play the blame game?

Contributed by Tsion Taye


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