Have you ever been in a situation where you felt so down that you could not imagine ever bouncing back from your situation? It’s like you’ve suddenly been hit by a car and thrown into a deep and dark hole, but without being fortunate enough to die and therefore be painless. You gather your energy to look up the hole you’ve came down from and think to yourself that you’ll never be able to reach the tip of the hole and come out of it ever again. So you decide to stay put in the dark hole, all curl up by yourself and chose to just nurture the extreme pain that came from falling down.
Moments like this are accompanied by self-doubt, unhappiness, hopelessness, loneliness, fear and many more undesirable feelings. Some people advise you to write down your feelings in order to cope with them. Maybe that works for some people. Others advise you to talk about it with others. I like this strategy much better. Talking with others, and especially to people who understand you, is not only a good consolation and an opportunity to release out the toxic feelings that are eating you up inside but also an opportunity to learn how others have coped with similar unfortunate situations. But there are points at which talking too much about your pain with others can lead to even stronger pain. This is because you will not be able to forget whatever had happened to you if you keep reminding yourself again and again about it. I am also a strong proponent of those who argue that one should not suppress whatever toxic feelings they are having. If you need to cry about what happened to you, then be it, and let those tears fall down. I believe it is never a good thing to dismiss bad feelings that came with unfortunate situations that have happened to us. I think we should acknowledge them and accept the fact that we are indeed hurt by what had happened to us.
I believe bouncing back from a seemingly dark and hopeless situation takes time. They say time is the healer, and I believe it is true. I find amazing just how much few days make a difference in our feelings. I believe we are all blessed with a brain that looses memory over time. What would we have done if a photographic memory that doesn’t fade even a bit with time is always kept in our brains of every painful moments we experienced in our lives? We would all have probably gone mad! Aside from time, I believe that the other key to bouncing-up is to avoid going back again and again to the hurtful thing or moment that had happened to us. The ‘why’ question is the question that prevents us from bouncing back from a hurtful situation. It is totally natural for us to try to understand what had happened to us. The truth is, we cannot answer the ‘why’ question if there is no one in particular out there we can give us a clear answer.
And honestly, we cannot undo things that are already done. The only thing we can do is to learn from whatever had happened to us, move on and focus on the things ahead that are within our control. Thankfully, nothing stays the same, things get forgotten over time, and therefore what had happened to us should not define who we are. Before we know it, we will find ourselves at the tip of the deep hole we thought we would never be able to bounce back from.